Monday, July 7, 2014

To Work and to Love

Freud, I believe (I haven't read it myself), said that we need to work and to love to be happy.  When we are young we work because we must and we must because we do like food and ______.  I worked for the [Fill in the blank space] part, but I also enjoyed work:  crazy non-specific-career jobs. 

I am grateful to see that there are now many conversations about mental illness.  In a recent talk I watched the speaker wondered, as I have many times, why when one has a health problem that involves any other part of the body there is much sympathy and support.  But if it's one's mind that isn't all that, society backs off rapidly. 

It's not contagious, guys.  It's just hard.

It's hard for the family, friends and employers. No one really knows what to say or what to do with anyone behaving in ways that words can't correct or even comfort.

"Perk up." and "Pull yourself together." are the favourite lines.  As one speaker said: "Like I hadn't thought of that?"   I used to want to hit something at the latter instruction.  Do you see my parts lying about?  Am I not in one piece?

It's hard for the struggling individual who knows something isn't right, but telling anyone is too risky.  It's hard when you need to pour three times the energy into typing a stupid memo than anyone else because your fingers don't listen to your mind and your mind itself speaks gobbledy-gook. 

It's hard when you are so exhausted you can't remember why you filed the document under M. when clearly it should have gone to P. You can't spell sincerely, which you type at least fifty times a day, without checking, again, just to be sure.

We, the crazies, have long tried to hide our afflictions, our fears and phobias because it's hard enough without judgement.  Many of us have contemplated suicide seriously and many of us have followed through. 

A young man talking about his suicide attempt said his perception was contracted at the time.  I would have said mine expands.  We all seem to experience our little bit of madness differently, which is not helpful to significant others, I will concede, but as one speaker said: [Paraphrasing]
At the moment it is one in four that suffer with mental illness, but there is a danger that we will arrive at 4 in 4 if we are not careful. 
Personally I think it might be 4 in 4 already.  We just don't know it.   

I also fancy that all humans are gifted differently and that those of us who particularly struggle are meant for different things.  In the sixties we were called "the beautiful people" but we were really struggling to hold onto our beautiful minds without knowing we were.  How else can we explain the flowers and the psychedelic pictures that emerged?  Paintings that appear on an art site I follow often have portraits with blurred faces.  Artists are the canaries.  One should pay attention to art and artists.

Perhaps we are not designed for war, open plan offices and less for little nooks that isolate us.  Repetitive work might be damaging to some of us and helpful to others.  Routines are good for some of us and terrible for others.  Not all of us are designed to perform the work others do effortlessly.  No one can do what we do effortlessly, and sadly we don't do it because we demean what comes easily and besides no one will pay us for it. 

Without our special gifts, our empathy, our lack of judgement, our humanity and kindness where would the world be?    One in four, I remind you, is the number offered.  One in four people have more empathy than the three others put together.

None of us want pity.  We are masters of deception. We are innovative and will continue to fight the good fight as long as we live.  A little less judgement might go a long way.

We take our pills if we can afford them. The medical aid doesn't pay for madness.  We may lose our creativity for a while, our ability to discern danger and head off into toxic relationships with love, that other thing Freud talks about, but we always stabilise and eventually get out in some fashion.

Depending on the biology of the day everything is work.  Achieving the goals we set accordingly is a happy thing.  And, in case you are wondering how you could possibly love this bedraggled hair person who struggles out of bed, has nothing to say, sits endlessly in front of the television and can't tell you anything about the programs, or the child who just won't do the thing, the expected thing like all other children do, let me enlighten you. 

We don't need you to love us.  We need to love you.

Blessings my lovelies.

Sunday, July 6, 2014


I really should have given Deuteronomy a lot more attention.

Moses ... so patient.

"Don't do this ...  Do that, like this  ... so things will go well with you.

Anyway, Deuteronomy. It's not as complicated as Revelations. 

I am no preacher nor am I a teacher, but I do recommend a browse through this ancient book. See if, like me, you will wish you had given this book more attention.

That's all.
Blessings and Love.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


"Keep on hoping. Do not give up hope; be an optimist. It is the protection of your mind."  Derek Prince based on  Hebrews 10:23 (niv)  :-
 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess."
The series "True Detective" examines evil up close.   But, there is hope.

"The Light is winning."

ACTORS   :   Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, Michelle Monaghan, Michael Potts. 

If you are able it is worth watching.

Dark-fighting comes at a great cost.  One is bound to be thought of as a fool, then as mad, and then perhaps as criminal.

I see there is a Season 2 to look forward to.  I shudder a little.

Love and Light.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Guard Peace

30th June 2014   a.m.

I have stopped watching the news.  After being away from my home and the screens for a long while I noticed that the news has become theatre.

I am too fragile for theatre.  I read my news.  I don't need voices and pictures. Words will do.  In fact, headlines will do just fine. Just one sentence.

"The sky is falling!"

I don't care what he or she thinks it means.  I don't care who denies or affirms it.  I just need to know we have lost a plane, hundreds of children in Africa in one night, three of Israel's sons have been kidnapped and now brutally murdered and that mourning is in order.

The newness of the news ...
How dare they attempt to influence my emotions further with subtle tactics.
Facebook is experimenting on us all as well, testing how they can manipulate our emotions.   
see  :[]  or find it on facebook somewhere.
I understand the surface purpose.  The newsreader is at least shedding a tear; we asked for that in a song in a time long gone.  Facebook might need to know how to better service the lonely -  the crowd suffering from separation anxiety, too busy to have friends with skin or and too far from loved ones to hug.
However, since all of us are not only connected to each other by means to consciousness, but also by social sites like Facebook, we may certainly be unsettled as the Monkey See article suggests.
"What is the purpose of this miracle?"The Hare Krishna Guru asked.
The surface reasons are unacceptable, but I am sure that there are other reasons beneath the surface that are nefarious. 
One cannot be passive "and one must not give in to the warm comfort of "zwodder".   We need to concentrate on mantaining a "matutinal" aspect. even though Oscar Wilde might think us dull.   One needs to guard one's heart. It's very much a biblical instruction and not for no reason.  

I have been fearless most of my life. And strong.  I am neither now.  I could not run from ... if my life depended on it.  When one's flight mode is disabled one has to (worst case scenario) confront what one would do, when running is all one can do, instead.  And, since it is clearly a potential worst case scenario in these new days, heaven forbid, each evening I spend a few moments looking at the front door imagining.  Then I calm myself down with The Lord's Prayer.

I have been fearless, but not without caution.  The lines I drew for caution have moved.  I am perhaps over cautious now.  I hate it. I do.  I could probably trek out into the wilderness as I used to and draw the lines back where they were, but I reached a conclusion and it stops me. I cannot expend energy without at least the hope of a desired outcome.

Clear and present danger to the heart, mind and soul presents on all platforms and if we do not protect our hearts and minds we will succumb to gloom and become immobilised.

Then it is no surprise that dark warriors arrive and conquer all without firing a single shot.

"Without a single shot..."

What?  No upstanding revolutionary in sight? Not a single soul to protest this band of thieves?  Are they all in the zwodder? I do not think they have finally managed to tame their egos.

The latter would be reason for rising matutinal (bright and breezy) - though I must say this surrendering of my life to invaders is not coming easy, even in the imaginings of worst case scenarios. I am sure to have something to say.


I have wandered through books my whole life searching for truth, but I've always come back to the beginning.

"And in the beginning there was The Word, ... and the Word was G-d...."  The lovely John.

One is going to have to hang one's hat on something other than logic and reason. One can build a bridge with those, a sky scraper and design a space ship that can land on Mars, but it is useless when trying to prevent their destruction.  They are useless also when guarding the heart.

It is not only that I have aged, that my days are unfamiliar with newness and that I have more handicaps than I expected.  Our way of life in general, globally, changes so rapidly I can hardly keep up.

The shocking and unthinkable happen and one has barely given it a reasonable thought when the next thing happens.  Suddenly the terrible thing that happened appears to have started so many years ago.  Although it is now more terrible, it has hit the bottom rung of the pile of horribles that one feels guilty for not holding onto then's awful feeling for long enough, or one despairs that one hasn't mourned well.

"We do not fight flesh and blood, but principalities."

I can find no other explanation for the state of things.

If we do not fight flesh and blood we had better understand that the war is not on the ground.

Derek Prince says we have no permission to criticise the government.  We are instructed to pray for our leaders, fervently, that they may guard peace.

There is scripture that informs me that if I seek to save my life I shall lose it.  I ponder the globe and all of us on it not seeking to save our lives - what would that look like?  No armies to serve and defend the homeland.  Dark warriors marching across the borders without a single protest.  The young and the old standing between the invaders and the men and women with abilities and strength and desire enough to rebuild with or without the warriors, the future.

Is Atlas Shrugging not the giving up of the ego and letting the marauders have it all?

This ego thing is a battle, I must say.  Without ego we would not build a bridge or a space ship. without ego we could not take up arms and defend our own.  Biblical stories are full of battles. So passive is not the ideal, I don't think...

I choose to pray since there isn't, at first and 100th glance, anything else I can actually do about marauders.  I pray for the leaders everywhere that they may guard our peace.  I pray that everyone may have a personal encounter with the Lord G-d, blessed be His Holy Name and that it will become clear to us what it is that we shall have to do when doing is required.

For now I pray divine protection from all evil and encourage you to say this prayer often.

"Our Father
Who are in Heaven,
Hallowed by Thy Name,
Thy Kingdom come,
They Will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven,
Forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those that trespass against us,
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from all evil."

Don't forget to guard your hearts and mind, even if you are heathens.  Keep the faith of love alive and do not let your hearts become heavy.  It is all unfolding as it must.

Light and Love my lovelies.